I was born in the sixties but my coming of age was in the seventies. For me and my friends that meant sex without it being a big deal and pot being easier to buy than cigarettes. I personally didn't care for pot, I just didn't understand why you would want to feel mellow, me I wanted to feel alive. I could feel mellow or depressed with no help from a drug what so ever. Now sex that made me feel alive.
I know what you are thinking, that this girl was having sex as often as others were lighting up a joint. But if you remember yesterday's post on my ideas that sex diminishes power you would know I was not having lots of sex, I was flirting with lots of guys. Now that made me feel sensually, sexually and very alive.
Lets go back to yesterdays blog for a minute, Chris my first teacher left me for another friend of mine, Kathy, now they were very blatant about it walked out holding hands while we were with a group of friends. I was hurt but was not totally bummed about losing Chris as we had sex two times and both were a disappointment and with the excitement and power gone it just was not as interesting dating him. Besides I got the last laugh, Kathy, she had a boyfriend at the times as well who found out the same way I did that it was over. That night we ended up in each others arms and he taught me what an orgasm was. Oh my! We never slept together again but I did have to laugh thinking about how badly Kathy had traded down. Four years later I ran in to Chris and we got to talking about his being my first. I told him I had learned so much more about myself and my body since then. He politely invited me over to his place to show him all that I had learned. While I was flattered with the offer I had to decline because he was still with Kathy, and while revenge may be sweet I didn't want it enough to have to sleep with Chris again.
Now I am not going to make this blog about every guy I slept with it would be way to boring to read. Let's just say that the next few were really no better than Chris. I realized two things guys did not instinctively know how to please a women in bed and women did not know instinctively know how to please herself in bed.
This was a problem for me, I had an orgasm! I was not willing to forgo that every time I had sex with a guy.
I got to thinking about why it is that girls don't learn about their bodies, the way boys do? All this sexually freedom we talk about coming out of the sixties and still most women don't know how to have an orgasm.
We hear the comments about boys and masturbation but never about girls. You know the ones, you are going to go blind if you keep playing with that thing, or you are going to get hair on the palm of your hand if you don't leave it alone, or my favorites is you always know when a teenage boy learns to masturbate, he start showering more. Boys are not being instructed in the ways of pleasuring themselves but the jokes let them know that to do it is a normal boy thing. And its not that we are being told not to do it, its just that the silence is telling us very loudly that women just don't do it and to be a normal woman you shouldn't even think about touching yourself. What a shame this is.
It's like having a really great hi fi stereo in your car, but you don't know how to switch it off AM, so you listen to the music that is not all the great but you learn to accept it, when you could have wonderful music if someone would just show you how to switch the button.
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