The begining

Once I looked up the meaning of my name, it said it came from Hebrew and meant womanly. I like that. I felt womanly even before I knew that's what my name meant. Of course before I started writing this I looked it up again. Now I find that Andrea is from Greek and its meaning there is Manly. Which I guess would explain why it is so widely used in Europe as a man's name. But I am ok with this meaning to, it doesn't make me feel any less womanly it just adds something to explain the sexual side of my nature.

So here I am a young girl with nothing yet to feel womanly about but my name but I was going to be womanly. I watched other women, I paid attention to man around these women and realized really early that being womanly gave you power. I added a little wiggle to my walk and a smile that said I know something you don't and I was almost ready to test my powers. Of course I had to wait for my body to catch up to my mind.

Boy when it did I was ready to go. You all know what I mean that power you get when you are a teenager and you realize that boys like breast, that men like breast, and having a tight tee shirt can get you out of just about any trouble you get into. Cops would let you go with a warning, male teachers were way more understanding about late homework when you smile that little smile and keep you chest up high. Well that is until I had my first gay teacher, he was not impressed with my lack of work ethic as the others were.

Those days were wonderful, all my friends were males I had rides to and from school, I had help with homework, I could get out of trouble and get away with so many things that my male friends could not. Then it came crashing down not because women lose the power we just give it away. My first real boyfriend, his name was Chris, taught me many things but the most important was that a women losses the power as soon as she has sex with a guy.

I did go look up the meaning of the name Chris, and meaning wasn't fantasy breaker or Power drainer like I expected, no it just meant to have Christ inside of him.

So here I am with this guy that I really like and he really liked me, he tried hard to get me into bed and when I finally went all the way the trying stops. It becomes more expected that the next time we will end up in bed. All of a sudden he no longer has to play the fun little games of putting his arm around my shoulders and try to get a little feel of my breast before I move his hand away, no now he can go straight for the breast because well as he said he's had it before so whats the problem. The problem was the shift in power. I was thinking I just gave up the power for what? Sex? It wasn't even that good I sure didn't get what the fuss was about.

Then I met a friend of Chris' he gave me that look, he went out of his way to talk with me, he did nice things for me that Chris no longer felt he needed to do. Ah the power is back!